On disappointments

In my thirty-nine years of existence, it was not just once that I saw a person who cried and lost friends due to frustration and I can’t help wondering why they get to such a situation.

When I was in grade I, I witnessed how my classmate was reprimanded by her mother right in front of us only because she did not make it to the top of the class list of honors. The mother got so dismayed that she never thought of her child’s feelings or embarrassment anymore.

Before our graduation day in elementary five of my classmates did not come up on stage because they displeased our teacher in a certain subject.

As I advanced to High School I usually hear my classmates complain about one of our  teachers.  Their reason is that they do not find the teacher efficient plus the fact that he basically starts the lesson with a reprimand for all of us. He seems to feel bad about us every time we meet.

In college my professor in Pop Ed. reprimanded us as we missed to give the answer she expected. I never remembered her considering any of our answers; thus, she ended up dismayed as our class with her ceased.

My pursuing of a masters degree in E.L.T. came and another professor brought my patience to the edge as she disallowed me to present my demonstration in  teaching speaking to L2 learners. I arrived her class just before she finished saying my name as roll call was made. I have been in her class sitting down while waiting for my turn for the entire three hours but she never called my name. There were five of us who suffered from her fury. Until now, I have no idea if she passed or failed me in that particular subject.

In all of these circumstances, one thing is common: people got frustrated, dismayed and displeased because their expectations were not met.

I have been wondering about these instances for years and it’s only now that I get to understand why all these happen not just to the people I know, to me but to others as well.

Yes, disappointment is the term appropriate to name the feeling described. It is felt by a friend who has not received an invitation for a birthday party of a friend, by a fellow student who has failed to earn his classmates attention and favor, to pass the test, to get a passing grade by the end of the quarter, to be included in the school’s list of representatives to an activity, to bring a teacher’s requirement in class, to win a category in a contest and above all, to meet parents’ expectations.

It is this emotion that brings a person to losing his confidence, friends and worst, faith in God. Why? Because when a person gets disappointed he could no longer think straight. A person who is undergoing the feeling tends to think negatively of others and the situation. Thus, he blame others of making his life miserable, a deed which consequently would make the blamed ones ignore the former rather than pardon him for what he had done. Others even blame God and tend to think that they are being deprived of His blessings.

What’s the reason behind disappointments? Rick Warren in Purpose Driven Life said that, it is our wanting of something and not getting it that brings us the said feeling. This claim by Warren is even strengthened by the following quotation of Alexander Pope. It says: “Blessed is the man who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed”.

Things happen for a purpose. There must be something that God wants us to understand which is why He lets us undergo such.

As for me, the idea is clear. Let us not expect for us to avoid disappointment.