I read this post on Facebook and my first reaction was, "No, this never happened to me."
In 2017, I had a parent who gave me 2 stars even though my class with her son went well and I knew I did my best. The reason? She wanted a teacher who speaks with a British accent. So I replied to her comment, I thanked her for the feedback, advised her to put a note about her preference for a British accent for her next booking, and apologized that I wasn't able to meet her expectation.
Guess what happened after that? A week later, I met her son in my class again, and he became my regular student until I left the company.
Yes, we have the right to feel bad when a parent criticizes us or gives us a low rating after we gave our best. But I think we need to ask first: where are they coming from?
The Parents' Side
We have to admit, ESL education is not cheap. Parents pay for every minute their child spends with us. Of course they don't want to waste a single minute.
That is why some parents really sit beside their children during the whole lesson. Some even correct us when they think we mispronounced a word or taught something wrong. It can be annoying, but if you look at it from their side, they are just trying to make sure they get what they paid for.
There is also the painful truth about discrimination. Some parents, when they learn that the teacher is Filipino, already have a judgment. They give negative remarks and low ratings not because of the teaching, but because of the passport. It hurts, and it is unfair, but it happens.
The Teachers' Side
On the other hand, we also have to be honest about our side as teachers, and I will say this as gently as possible because I am also a teacher.
Sometimes, parents' reactions also come from a place of worry, and it helps us to look at our own growth areas with kindness.
Let's be honest with ourselves in a gentle way - we all started somewhere. I remember when I was new, there were times when I wasn't able to prepare as much as I wanted to. I would open the lesson and realize the topic was new to me, too. When a parent asked a question about it, I felt caught off guard. It happens, especially when we have many classes in a day.
There is also another reality that we can talk about with compassion. Many of us in the ESL industry came into teaching because we love English and we can speak it well, even if we didn't graduate as English majors. So when a student asks, "Teacher, why is it like that?" - sometimes we know the answer in our heart, but it is not always easy to explain it in a simple grammar rule. And some of us are still in college, still learning ourselves. In those moments, we are both learning - we are learning how to teach better, while our student is learning English.
And that's okay. It doesn't mean we are not good teachers. It just means we are on a learning journey. When parents notice these small moments, they may feel worried because, again, they are paying for that time.
But if we see these moments not as failures but as reminders, it can help us grow.
Why Communication Matters
This is why I think communication is necessary - not to argue, but to understand each other.
When a parent corrects you, a short, calm explanation like, "Thank you, Mommy, for helping. In American English we usually pronounce it like this..." can turn a correction into a partnership. ..a short, calm explanation like, "Thank you, Mommy, for helping. In American English we usually pronounce it like this..." can turn a correction into a partnership.
It's even better if you have a small reference to show that you are correct - like quickly sharing your screen to show the word from a dictionary or from the lesson. When parents see that you are really prepared, they will trust you more.
However, if you realize that you were wrong, please don't insist. It's okay to be wrong. We are all human. A simple and sincere apology builds more trust than pretending to be right. You can say gently, "Oh, thank you for catching that, Mommy. You're right. I'm sorry, I missed that. Thank you for helping me - so now we both learned it correctly. Let's say it again together with [student's name]."
Parents appreciate honesty more than perfection.
When we get a low rating because of our accent or nationality, a professional and kind response, like what I did, shows that we are confident in what we offer and we respect their preference. It protects our dignity without starting a fight.
And for us teachers, if we know parents are watching and listening, it pushes us to be better. To prepare for 5 minutes before the class. To review the lesson. To study that grammar point we are not so sure about. Not because we want to please discriminatory parents, but because we want to be the kind of teacher who cannot be easily discriminated against.
In the end, parents and teachers want the same thing: for the child to learn.
Maybe instead of getting annoyed at "Mommy ni student," we can see her as part of the team.
In conclusion, I want to be clear that I am writing this not to hurt anyone - not the parents, and not my fellow teachers. I am not taking sides. As an ESL teacher, I'm not perfect. I don't know everything. I just learned form experience.
I wrote this simply as a reminder for all of us to be a little gentler with each other.
To our dear parents, I hope you can also see the teacher's side. Behind that 25-minute class, there is a teacher who prepared, who checked her internet, who reviewed the lesson, who may have had 10 classes before yours. She may be tired, she may still be learning, but she showed up to teach your child with a sincere heart.
And to my fellow teachers, I hope we can also see the parents' side. Their sitting beside their child, their questions, even their strictness, often comes from love and from wanting the best for their kids.
At the end of the day, we are on the same team. And I believe that if we choose communication for understanding, not for arguing, the classroom becomes a kinder and better place for the one who matters most - the student.
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