In his memoir The Color of Water, James McBride tells two stories at once — his own and his mother's. He does this for one reason: to make us realize that we cannot understand our present until we understand our past.
James, a biracial child of a white Jewish mother and a Black father, grew up confused about his racial identity. That confusion affected everything — how he dealt with people, his work, and his view of life. His quest to uncover his mother Ruth's hidden past is what finally allows him to accept his mixed race and embrace humanity.
McBride writes this beautifully when his mother tells him, "God is the color of water." For her, God has no color. He loves everyone regardless of skin color or religion.
What makes the book so powerful is Ruth McBride.
Imagine this: a white woman, a Jewish immigrant, living as a Black woman in Harlem in the 1940s-60s, raising 12 children alone after her husbands die. She works tirelessly, endures racial prejudice from both Black and white communities, and still insists that all 12 of her children get a good education and work hard.
Her steadfastness is admirable. She manages the household without help, teaches her children to trust in God during trials, and never complains. Any mother reading this will find her faith boosted.
Three Lessons in Socialization
As a teacher, I saw three methods of socialization in Ruth's parenting:
1. Modeling: Ruth doesn't just preach values — she lives them. She models self-reliance by working hard, patience by teaching her children to tolerate racial prejudice, and faith by loving everyone in her community regardless of color.
2. Identification: James only begins to understand himself when he identifies with his mother's miserable past — her abusive father, her escape from Judaism, her life as an outsider. Understanding her story allows him to accept his own identity.
3. Nurturance: Ruth disciplines with love. When she learns James is involved in drugs and theft, she doesn't just punish him. She sends him to his sister in Louisville to be safe. That decision leads him to meet Chicken Man, who, despite being a bad influence, teaches him about bravery. When her daughter Helen runs away, Ruth lovingly calls her back home. Even making her children commute far to a Jewish school for better education is an act of nurturance — choosing hardship for a better future.
What I Learned as a Teacher
This book taught me that:
1. Fairness is essential.
Children learn best when values are modeled, not just dictated. Punishing a student for a mistake means nothing unless they understand the value behind the punishment.
2. Demonstration makes beliefs visible.
When students see their teacher live out patience, tolerance, and hard work, they grasp those ideas fully and can apply them in life.
3. High expectations despite poverty
Ruth had 12 children, no husband, living in Harlem projects, but she insisted ALL of them go to school. She sent them to predominantly white Jewish schools far from home because the education was better. As teachers, we should not lower our standards because a child is poor, biracial, or from a difficult home. Ruth proves expectation is a form of love.
4. Colorblind dignity, not colorblind blindness
Ruth told James "God is the color of water" — God has no color. She didn't pretend race doesn't exist; she taught her children to navigate prejudice with self-worth. In a classroom, we don't ignore differences. We teach children to respect everyone regardless of color or religion, and to have pride in their own identity.
5. Education as survival, not just grades
For Ruth, education was how her kids would escape the cycle of poverty and racism. It was non-negotiable. As teachers, we should connect our lessons to life purpose. When students know why they need to learn, discipline becomes self-discipline.
How Should Teachers Discipline Like Ruth?
Ruth didn't just punish. She practiced "nurturance discipline". When James was into drugs and theft, she didn't beat or shame him in front of siblings. She removed him from danger — sending him to his sister in Louisville.
For teachers, Ruth's action translates to "discipline with redirection, not humiliation". We should not shame a child in front of class. We remove them from the bad influence / situation and give them a safer space to grow.
Discipline with explanation of value. We should keep in mind that "Punishing a student for a mistake means nothing unless they understand the value behind the punishment."
Let's ask ourselves: What value am I teaching to my students?
Discipline as long-term investment: Ruth calling Helen back home after she ran away is a demonstration of the idea "love is consistent". The child always has a home to return to.
In class, the child should know that we correct him/her because we still believe in him/her.
As a Mother these I learned from Ruth:
1. Self-reliance is the best inheritance
Ruth never complained, worked tirelessly as a widow, and managed a household of 12 alone. She modeled that a mother doesn't need to be a victim of her past — abusive father, failed religion, widowhood, poverty — to be a victor for her children.
2. Faith as an anchor, not an escape
She taught her children to "trust in God during trials" and to love everyone in the community regardless of color. Faith gave her children moral stability when their racial identity was confusing.
3. Sacrificial nurturance — choose hardship for their future
Commuting her kids far for a better Jewish school, working double shifts, sending James away even though it hurt her — these were hard choices.
Ruth showed us that good motherhood is not about making life easy now, but making life possible later.
4. Never weaponize your past
Ruth hid her painful Jewish past for years, not to lie, but to protect her children until they were mature enough to understand. And when James finally asked, she told the truth. Mothers can acknowledge their trauma without passing the burden to their children.
If Sargeant in Hughes teaches Filipinos about opening closed doors, Ruth in McBride teaches teachers and mothers how to keep the door open for children — even when the world outside is cold.
Reference
McBride, J. (1996). The Color of Water: A Black Man's Tribute to His White Mother. Riverhead Books.
No comments:
Post a Comment